Depressed

Feeling very depressed in these two days.
Things are not going right.
Spent some hours to view some inspirational quotes and pictures. Felt better at first.
But something just has to happen and make me depressed again.
I'm trying my best. I don't know what's wrong with me, seriously.
I kept thinking was I not good enough for you? Should I change or just be myself?
But it seems like I can't reach your expectation by just being myself.
I don't know. I feel helpless. I wanna do something for you.
I wanna help you out. But I'm just causing you troubles eventually.
I just feel like my efforts were meaningless after listening to what you've told me.
Because most probably you'll be thinking how other people thinks about you again.
Those people are not the one you're going to spend your life with.
Last time I used to be like you, cared too much about what others think.
In the end, I only make myself suffer.
Now I tell myself I should do things for myself, not depends on how others judge me.
I live for myself, not on the sight of others.
I felt very happy helping you out in the first few days. Now I still do.
But I will start to concern more from your side.
'Cause I'm afraid of causing troubles or inconvenience again
I don't know how much you would appreciate it.
I know you don't want me to get tired. I understand.
But I just want to share your burden. I know I can't share all but at least a little?
At first I thought you agreed. But what did I get in the end?
Because of image problem again? I didn't want anything from you.
Can see you and help you out, it already makes my day.
When you say this is because of me, that is because of me I really felt hurt and guilty.
I know you don't mean it. But you won't know how I feel.
I can't just stay at home and do nothing while seeing you go to work and get tired.
I tried to care but it seems like I cared too much.
Sigh. Just feeling myself like a troublemaker. Zzz.