Haih.

Find that i kinda dislike my dad these few days.
He keep smoking. I really feel very uncomfortable.
Especially when i was sick.

He keep on saying my fever small matter only. ==
He don't know that i was suffering. Go and smoke some more.
I eat panadols he scolded me: "You thought is sweets?"
Of course i won't la. I follow instructions only.
2 caplets every 4 to 6 hours.
If he really care about my health the he shouldn't smoke in the house.

1st January 2012

Yesterday overnight at friend's house after performance.

Left my phone at home before go out. This afternoon only got back my phone.

This morning i ate a little for brunch.

Decided to watch movie with my friends at jusco.

But after brunch i vomited. Was having headache.

LOL. But the plan still goes on.

Watched 23:59. Haha.

When i bought the tickets i didn't realize that it's PG18.

When i was going in. The man suddenly called me and asked for my IC.

I was like "huh?" then lend him my IC.

Then he suddenly say i cannot enter. I was like "WTF??" LOL

I said "why?" he said "i'm not 18 yet"

OMG. what to do? hahaha.

We were discussing to change tickets to another movie.

But the man said cannot. Then we tried to beg him.

Cause the girl at the counter didn't tell me must be 18 above.

Finally he let me enter. LOL. Lucky?

After movie we walked around.

He told me he's at jusco too.

Wanted to see him actually. But i scare. Haha. Scare awkward.

Suddenly, he was standing in front of me when i walked out from popular.

At that moment, i had a sudden heart attack. LOL

Seriously, my heart almost jumped out.

Quite nervous and awkward.

Ya. We smiled to each other. Then he walked away.

Very soon, i saw him again for the 2nd time.

He just passed beside me. With his mum.

But we did not have a chance to talk.

Even if we had, i don't think i could speak it out.

Kayang said we yao yuen. But i said 有缘无分。Haha. Truth.

After wandering around, followed my friend's car to her grandmother's house.

We had barbecue at there. Hmm. It's fun. But i didn't really enjoy it.

Haha. Maybe because it's not with my own family and relatives?

First time without using knife, i used hand and fork to eat a lamb chop. Haha

Tomorrow although school haven't start yet, but tuition already started,

At first i wanted to change to Tuesday because i don't wanna see him on Monday.

But now I'm feeling better. Telling myself that i shouldn't avoid.

Haha. Actually it's not a big matter right? Why do i take it so hard?

The same words again. "I need time"

Although i do smile and laugh a bit these few days,

but my heart still very 沉重(heavy)。

For me, it's just a New Year. Not a New Life.

Things still remain. I am still me. The forever emo and cool me. Haha

Photo taken at Jusco.

Another new year.

It's another new year.
It passed so fast. Fast until i can't believe it's 2012 now.
Seriously, i'm not really ready for 2012 yet.
One is because of him. Another reason is because of study.
This year form 5 already. I guess i'll busy like hell.
Not because of society. Tuitions also can make me drown already. LOL. And my job too.

Don't know why i will start blogging these few days.
Affected by someone? LOL. Or maybe i'm just too down and sad.
No one i could talk to. Sometimes even if you tell your best friends about your problems.
They might give you some advices. But the final conclusion still depends on yourself.
You can only rely on your own.

Of course, i already get used to this kind of living style.
I don't simply trust people. If i trust you, you're lucky. LOL. just kidding.
Even sometimes when my friends praise me, i'll consider about it first.
Thinking whether it's true or not. Two face people i saw a lot.
If you want to be like this, i can treat you in the same way too. =)


Telling myself that i'm okay. I really think i'm okay.
But today my dance friend ask me what happened.
What i surprised is i start tearing before i finish my words to her.
I really hope i can stop crying. Don't wish my eyes to be swelled when school reopen.
I'm really tired. I need some time to calm my mind.
I took half a year to let go of my ex. How long do i need to let go of you?
Haha. More than that? Less than? Or never?
It's a probability. =)

Silly

你整天说我傻瓜。其实最傻的是你。
你怕以后离开了我会让我更伤心？
那你又懂不懂其实我一早就知道你有一天会离开我？
我早就有那个心理准备了。只是没想过会是现在。

I never expect that this relation will last forever.
But it's not even one year. And you're leaving me now.
I just want to appreciate the moment with you now.
Why don't you understand that? Never mind.
I can't force you to be with me. I will wait for you.
Until you change your mind. (Although you might not)
Don't always worry that you'll affect me too much.
If you really think so, just tell me the truth.
Just say you want me to concentrate on study next year.
Just tell me what you're thinking. I will know what to do.
Just like what we did for our end year test.
At least i didn't feel sad even that time we didn't chat for a month.
Don't always hide things from me. You know i hate that.
We can actually talk nicely. Why must you take this step?
Only making both of us suffer.

无法控制的泪水。

我很讨厌被蒙在鼓里的感觉。
但是为什么偏偏是你 ='(
我真的很伤心。

你曾经是我最好的朋友。当时我们都什么告诉对方。
虽然现在你不是我的朋友，但你现在对我来说是比好朋友更重要的人了。

你曾说过：我们之间不要有秘密。

你还记得这句话吗？也许你忘了吧。

我却一直傻傻的记住。所以我什么事都告诉你。

但是当我问你某些事情的时候你却瞒着我。

你说你不想让我担心。我知道。

但是我情愿担心也不愿意什么都不知道。

你觉得这样我很好受吗？

更可笑的是你居然custom你的facebook状态，不让我读。

我真笨，刚才还傻傻的去跟你说我的profile好像有问题。读不到你的状态。

你还跟我说：Lol. Nvm,
过后我知道真相的时候我真的很难过。

我对你太失望了！

你是我最信任的人。可是你居然这样对我。

我觉得我自己真可笑！

我现在很无奈。我真的不知道你在想什么。

我不想在你身边呆着的时候对你抱有怀疑的心情。

我现在真的很伤心。

唉。。。

很久没来这里了 怎么一来就想哭 哈哈

也许是因为想起以前的事情吧。 我真傻 =)

最近发生好多事情。 我一个好朋友突然间玩失踪。 在这么重要的时刻。全部人都联络不到她。

其实我很担心她是不是出了什么事。 不过其他人只是在怪责她。 说她不负责任。 真的是这样吗？ 唉。。。只有她家人才知道事实。 没事就好。

好累。。假期好无聊。 明年就要 SPM 了。 今年的成绩也不是很好。

原本打算趁着假期好好温习的。可是我并没有做到。天天都在浪费时间。日子一天一天的过。

我该如何是好？ =(

好想念他。

Backed.

Abandoned my blog for a long while.
I'm backed. Haha. But will not stay long (might abandon again).
These days quite a lot of things happened.
*skip some parts.

Last saturday was my school co-co day.
And the 1 Murid 1 Sukan thing.
Won the Duet karaoke competition in my school with Divaa.
The prize was a bouquet of roses and a trophy.
LOL. After that, 3pm got K Box K King audition.
bring along my flowers there.
People keep staring at me (as if they never see people get flowers)

Knew some friends throughout the audition.
My result for audition was "WAIT FOR CONSIDERATION"
Haha. Kinda worry. I don't wanna wait for their phone call.
I went for audition again the next day. And finally i make it.
Passed. Top 50.
There are many up coming activities for this competition.
They say i have to go record a singing video at k box.
Then they will put on facebook and youtube. =(
23rd July 7.30pm got promo tour at SJKC Yuk Choy.
Have to sell 10 tickets. Haih. Who wants to go lah?==
Even myself don't know can attend or not.
But the staff say this event very important must go.
But at the same time i got a performance that night at another place.
So annoying. And stressed.
Then now onwards have to practice singing la. Bla bla.

Have to prepare for enrollment test and Form 5's farewell party also.
Haven't even start studying for my history.
Later i fail again.
The twilight book i borrowed from Peyee also don't have time to read yet.
Hmmm...What esle....

Tomorrow is parent's day. Haha.
Actually many people feel so worry about this day that they hope this day will never come.
I don't know why? LOL.
If you behave well during class and worked hard for your exam, even if your results dropped also nevermind.
Cause you know you tried your best.
I'm not very good also. Always sleep in class. LOL.
But i think this is not a problem for me. Haha.
She want to tell then tell. I can't do anything.
And i can't promise her "no next time"
Sleepy means sleepy.

Planned for a movie tomorrow after taking report card.
Transformer 3. But my god sis can't make it. ='(
Maybe i have to watch with my mum? Haha

Haven't prepare for my Oral test too.
Tomorrow morning English double period.
Hope she's busy and don't enter class or maybe forget about it. LOL

Haih.
I feel stressed and annoyed.
I don't know why am i wasting my time on facebook everyday.
Instead, i should do something more important.
Hope there's a way to make myself not so addicted on facebook.

Stress

Things are so stress and i feel like crying everyday.
Of course, no one would know about this.
I wish that someone could lend me a shouler to cry on.
But no one would bother or even care.

I really can't stand those people that fooling around everyday.
They don't know the importance of THIS and the importance of THAT.
From my point of view, they're just doing something stupid that are wasting their time everyday. Not only wasting time but also making their life worse.
I really don't know why some people are so happy showing off their failed results everywhere.
You think it's a proud of getting failed?
HAHAHA. =__=
Good. Continue to fail. Congratulations.
Some people are working so hard for their life.
Though they failed something, they still want to success on it.
And YOU people, what are you doing?
Wandering around? Trapped in love? Or whatsoever reasons?
Okay. I don't mean that you can't fall in love.
But those give up on study because of love are seriously idiot.
So you think LOVE is your future? LOL...
And some people just thinking how to play truant everyday.
What you get for playing truant? Sahsiah A? LOL!
Please use your brain and think deeply what should you do now and what you shouldn't.

=)

Saw this somewhere.
Wanted to share it =)

I remember
the first time we meet

I knew that you were made for me
but it's been agreed no men for me

No matter how sweet
they might be

Whenever i think about
being with you

My conscience disagrees
my promise I would like to keep

Even though i know
we're destined to be

Just afraid that
i'm in love too deep

Don't want to fall in love this easily
trying not to let myself get too close

Else my companions
will judge me guilty

Just afraid my love for you's too deep
my heart's flown to you with ecstasy

Perhaps one day
I cannot hold back

'Cuz sweetheart
you're my destiny

Holidays.

Finally the monthly test is over.

Holidays started.

But my holidays full of activities.

The whole holidays is activities.

Holidays? Is it really a holidays?

THIS IS MY ORIGINAL SCHEDULE:

12th Saturday>>

8am-5pm (wisma) course

1pm-2.30pm (BI tuition)

13th Sunday>>
8am-10am (wisma) marching training.

10am-12pm (re2) computer lesson maybe? i think i'm gonna skip it again.

12pm-3pm (my avenue) dance practise

14th Monday>>
9am-3.30pm (wisma) practise

5pm-6.30pm (biology tuition)

15th Tuesday>>
8am-10am (school) olahraga training

5.30pm-9.30pm (Physics & Chemistry tuition)

16th Wednesday>>
9am-3.30pm (wisma) practise

8.15am-10.30am (school) netball practise

17th Thursday>>
8am-10am (school) olahraga training

8.15am-10.30am (school) netball practise

2.30pm-5.30pm (BM tuition)

18th Friday>>
9am-3.30pm (wisma) practise

8.15am-10.30am (school) netball practise

7pm-8.30pm (Account tuition)

19th Saturday>>
(wisma) Competition

8am-10am (school) olahraga training

20th Sunday>>
(wisma) Competition part 2
10am-12pm (re2) computer lesson

12pm-3pm (my avenue) dance practise


Can i divide myself into 5? LOL

But i'm forced to absent most of them.

Reason 1. Time crashing.

Reason 2. I'm going back to johor from 15th-18th. Main purpose--visiting grandfather's grave =(